Love hurts
by EaSnowPw
Summary: I ended up in Bleach together with 2 of my friends during the Turn Back the Pendulum arc. Just my luck that I fell in love with one of the future Visoreds and Aizen noticed. He offered me a deal, but will that change anything? I sure hope so...


"Whatever he's giving you, I'm sure I can give it double. Triple even!" Shinji said, looking into my eyes.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Hirako-Taicho, but what Sousuke is giving me is something I'm fairly sure you can't offer." His face scrunched in distaste as I spoke so familiarly of his Fukutaicho.

"Such as?"

'Your safety.' I thought, internally stabbing myself. I loved him. And tonight, he had showed me he cared about me more than he could hold back. And I was rejecting him, because I was with _Aizen._ I had to control my tears as I did it, but, once I was out of his office, I was going to run to my friends and cry myself to sleep. 'Just pull yourself together, Aizen may be watching for all you know.' The place was filled with the residual remains of his illusory ability.

"I don't see why I have to answer this question." I walked past him and he grabbed my wrist, gently but firmly, pulling me back. I spun around… It was too much. We were too close. I wasn't sure how long it would be until my mask would crack. I had to put some distance between the two of us. Forever… I slapped him, knowing it was something hard to forgive. Shinji's eyes widened and hurt danced across his features. I could feel it too. I could have carved something onto my face with a knife and it would have hurt less. Then shock replaced it. "I fail to see why I have to report to you my personal issues, Taicho, considering the fact that we are doing nothing wrong." My voice had gone 100% formal, which was a clear sign of more and more distance between the two of us. His grip weakened and I ripped my hand from his possession. I tried to appear offended instead of suffering. It was hard.

"You don't." he said simply. "I just thought… ah, forget it! If you want Aizen, then so be it. Will I ever understand why?"

"No. Probably never." I said coldly, looking straight into his eyes. I was getting lost in them and slowly breaking. Because in my mind it was always Shinji and Aizen, but in my mouth it was never like that. It was Hirako-Taicho and Sousuke…

Shinji smiled sadly. "At least you gave me one honest answer." He leaned against his desk, his eyes looking anywhere but at me. His hands held the wood tight. He was lucky it was enforced to handle his reiatsu and strength. My eyes widened at his words. Had I been that transparent? "The others were too vague to hint anything. You can go now. Just so you know, I like you, Shika, probably more than he likes you, but I understand. Your choice has already been made." It was as much of a confession as I could get at that point.

I nodded determinately, then bowed to hide my quivering lower lip. "Goodbye, Taicho."

* * *

I ran off to my friend's room. As soon as I entered, hardly keeping my composure, I said, with no greeting. "Please cleanse." Yuki immediately put up a barrier around the room while Chika chanted to remove all illusory kido. As soon as they both said they were done, I fell onto my knees, crying desperately. My body was shaking, spasms rocking it as the big tears kept falling. Both rushed over to me. I was hugging myself, as if I would explode otherwise. My heart hurt, as if it had been ripped from my chest then stomped on. "Shika, what happened?" I shook my head as both tackled me into a tight embrace.

"I'm so stupid…" I kept muttering through my sobs. "So, so…stupid…" Even if I was gonna be free from my deal with Aizen, even if my plan would work, never, ever would I get this chance again… Never. Shinji coming to me when I was with someone else? Never! Shinji coming to me at all now that I slapped him? Never! Dammit! Damn it all!

I cried for a long time, both girls trying to calm me down, but failing. I just couldn't get the moment I slapped him out of my mind. Why had I even done it? I had known it would hurt me too. Maybe that was exactly why I did it. Yuki eventually brought some tissues and they managed to move me to the bed. I slowly calmed down, but my tears still kept falling. "What happened?" Chika asked.

I gulped, trying and failing to put my mask on. It was the only thing that could keep me from breaking again. "I… today… Hirako-san called me to his office…earlier…he told me…" I couldn't say it. "…that he could offer me a better deal than Ai…Sousuke."

"Didn't that piss you off?" Yuki asked. "He practically called you a slut."

I shook my head. "Not with the way he said it."

"He really has feelings for her, Yuki." Chika said. "Really, really strong feelings. Maybe he wanted to believe that she was using Aizen to make him jealous or something."

"I slapped him." I said, making them both gasp. "I wanted to leave and he shunpoed after me and grabbed my wrist. I was breaking… that's why I did it… I…" I didn't want to admit it.

Chika hugged me and I kept crying. "It's alright. He'll be right there when it's all over, ready to hold your hand and pull you up to your feet." She always said I would fail in my plan. That the canon storyline had to be followed.

Oh, I hadn't presented anyone yet. Oops, my bad. Ok, we were 3 Bleach fans who somehow ended in Soul Society long before the "Turn Back the Pendulum" arc. We had some reiatsu apparently, because we ended up in the Academy and we were now seated officers. My Bleach name was Shika. I had electric blue hair (no idea why) and blue eyes. I was 1,70m and not that curvy in my opinion, but my body was ok. Chika had been my best friend in real life, which was why our names were so similar. She had red hair (which was a similar shade to the way she had dyed it in real life) and green eyes. She was 1,65m but much curvier than me. Yuki was blonde with blue eyes, like she had been alive and she was 1,75m. We hadn't been that close before, but in Bleach we learned to trust each other, all 3 of us. Yuki also remembered most plot details that we had forgotten. Chika said that the plot should happen and I said let's save the Visoreds. Aizen had proposed me to be his girlfriend during my first month as a seated officer in the 5th and I couldn't help but glance at Shinji as he had done so. He said he knew that I knew what would happen and that if I gave myself to him he wouldn't hurt Shinji. I had accepted. Even back then, I was exchanging meaningful looks with the blonde, but apparently that had to stop. Then, after a month of "relationship", Shinji called me to his office and… you know the rest.

I could hardly stop my tears. It still hurt and it would only get worse. It would hurt every time I would see him. I would… Yuki sighed. "Shika, if you love him, why not tell him the truth?"

I looked down. Chika chuckled bitterly. "If she did that, he would either say that he can look after himself or, supposing the impossible that he would accept her plan, he would betray her unwillingly."

"Man, the faith you have in him." Yuki said, rolling her eye. "He's a captain, geez."

"I meant the way he looks at her. Aizen can read such little things that always betray how we feel about someone. I think… I think he just wants to hurt Hirako right now. The Hollowfication… it was him and his friends and comrades. But this is something else entirely, so yes, it may satisfy him."

I shivered. Someone knocked on the door and I hid myself under the blanket. Chika went to open. It was her room after all. I heard Shinji's voice and wished someone would just kill me already.

"I sensed Shika's reiatsu here a while ago. I have to tell her of a mission." Chika paused before answering and I knew she was going to do something reckless.

"Oh, but I didn't know it was in a Taicho's duty to deliver missions, rather than summon the subordinate and tell them."

"Yeah, yeah, now kill me for taking a walk to get out of the office." He said. I could almost picture him rolling his eyes.

"True. Shika's in the bathroom. Said she might take a while. But I can tell her about it." She offered.

"Ok. It's not much, really. Urahara wants someone to go with Hiyori tomorrow to investigate some strange vanishing souls in Rukongai. He personally requested Shika, saying her ability to sense illusions may be useful." It was another reason why Aizen wanted me on his side. I could tell when he was using Kyoka Suigetsu, but not how. It was more than enough for him not to want me and Shinji working together.

"Alright. I'll tell her about it and to check with Urahara-Taicho tomorrow. Is that all?" Another pause.

"I can sense her reiatsu all over the place. What happened?"

"We practiced some kido. Actually, she practiced and we gave advice." Yuki said. Man, that was swift. "That's why we put up the barrier too. So she wouldn't destroy anything."

"Oh, ok. One more thing. Tell her I'm sorry about today."

"What happened?" Chika asked, pretending to be oblivious.

"I did something stupid and reckless." Shinji sounded really sorry. I forced my reiatsu under tight control.

"I'm sure she forgave you already."

Shinji chuckled sadly. "Doubt that. Anyway, gotta go. Bye."

Yuki pulled the blanket from me after I heard the door close. "Shika… tomorrow…"

Chika gulped. "That idiot, he unknowingly signed your condemnation."

I shook my head. "No, no way. I… I'll have to talk to Sousuke."

"YOUR FUCKING SOUSUKE JUST BETRAYED YOU!" Chika yelled. "I told you this was a bad idea, what must happen will happen either way and you just wasted all this time you could've spent with the guy who actually loved you!"

"And what the hell do you want me to do now? I chose a path, gotta walk on it till the very end!"

"Calm down, both of you!" Yuki hissed. "There is a way. A way to prove that Aizen was undeniably there that night." We both tilted our heads to the side. She sighed. "When Urahara jumped in, he cut Aizen's Fukutaicho badge."

"What?" Chika asked.

I concentrated a little and yes, I remembered. It had surprised me too at the time that they hadn't relied on that.

"So? It just proves that Aizen wasn't completely flawless back then. Or maybe when Tessai shot that kido, it dissolved. Who knows?" I said.

Yuki rolled her eyes. "I can volunteer to investigate. If I find that, we're gonna have a chance to prove he was there." Yuki was in the 2nd division. Chika was in the 4th. She scared the 11th away when they bullied her comrades.

"Hmm… the Visoreds will still be made." Chika said. "But Aizen… yes, he'll get caught. Urahara will still flee and I think most of the canon will take place, if only the first arc. I think Urahara will cook up something for you anyway."

Think. Think… Think…

"For us? What do you mean us?" I asked.

"You'll obviously be a Visored too." No, oh hell no. I couldn't be stuck under the same roof with Shinji. Yuki nodded.

I closed my eyes, thinking. I could run away. No, I wasn't that much of a coward. But… but… Shinji. I had to do it for him. I had to.

* * *

I obviously argued with Hiyori, who hated me even more than she hated Shinji, which was quite the achievement for me. So when we met we fought, we fought in the forest, and I eventually stormed away. The prideful little banshee said she didn't need me. I just came back to tell Urahara that there was some illusory kido around, but I wasn't sure of what kind blah blah. That was my plan. Until Aizen intercepted me. He asked me to come to his room and I accepted.

"Tonight…" he said as we were making out. "… is the night you've been dreading. The Soutaicho will choose a team to go after Sarugaki and I think you know who will go better than I do."

"B-but… you promised…" I started.

"Yes, I did. But I can't control that. Or, if you can offer me something better tonight, I'll delay my experiments." His hands shamelessly slid over my body. I only hesitated briefly. It was all I had left. He had everything else. And if Shinji went through all that, I wouldn't have anything anyway. If Shinji was gone, I would go after him anyway.

I let him undress me, but I didn't cry. I tried to imagine it wasn't Aizen doing that to me, but Shinji. He ripped my clothes open mercilessly and hardly spent any time preparing me. It hurt. I wasn't ready, I hadn't wanted that. I screamed as he entered me, I was still innocent, well had been. I was officially a slut.

After we'd finished, I couldn't move. My lower regions hurt as I even tried to get more comfortable on the bed. That hadn't been lovemaking, not even sex. It had been almost rape. Aizen scanned me as he got dressed. "Come on, we're almost late." My eyes widened. "You can't do anything now. I'm impressed by the devotion you showed to a man who doesn't even know you share his feelings and who probably won't accept you now. You can stop pretending, I knew all along." My eyes slowly filled with tears. He scoped me up over his shoulder and I hissed in pain. I saw him take my zanpakutou and off we went. Where? Dunno. In the forest.

* * *

I expected them to ignore me mostly and focus on the canon dialogue. Instead, Aizen simply put me down in front of Shinji, who was down, still not Hollowfied. I collapsed, my legs unable to hold me. I covered my chest with my arms. Shinji's eyes were wide. I guess he could put two with two together.

"Kaname only obeyed my orders. He's devoted to me. Another good example of devotion is this woman. You know, Hirako-Taicho, she returned your feelings. From the very first moment of your meeting." Shinji cast me a disbelieving look.

"If you wanna taunt me, this ain't working, Aizen. She chose you." He spat, his eyes drifting off from me. He probably thought I had agreed with it. Taunting him. Showing up naked to show him what he could never have.

"Exactly. That was the best proof of her devotion to you. She knew all along that this night would come. She dreaded it, but knew. Am I right?"

I closed my eyes. _'You're pathetic. Suck it up, girl! This pain is nothing. Show him your power!'_ my zanpakutou growled. _'Think of it, the pain is a lot now, but later it'll mean nothing but the fact that you refused to help your lover.'_

"You failed." Aizen whispered in my ear. "You are nothing but a little slut who couldn't protect anything. Your petty little plan failed." I felt him slip my sword in my hand. "You have nothing. Your friends are away and your body is mine." I closed my eyes and unsheathed my zanpakutou, resting the sharp side next to my neck. He was right. I had nothing. Tears slipped down my cheeks. Aizen had won.

"Aizen!" Shinji rose briskly, sword unsheathed. His mask erupted on his face. It was my fault, all mine. Chika had been right. I should have spent the time with him, creating happy memories for both of us. Now it was over. _'It's never too late, princess.'_

'It is, Aoi Hi.'

My blade neared my skin. I wanted it all to end. I had been weak, easy to manipulate. "Shika! What the fuck are you doing?" Shinji yelled. He was fighting Kaname, but he had glanced at me.

"Sh-Shinji…" I whispered. His eyes widened. I could see shock and pain plastered on his face under the Hollow mask. He was my resolve. And he was right there. "Fly, Aoi Hi." Blue flames covered my body as my zanpakutou entered Shikai. I saw Aizen stare at me wide-eyed as I pushed myself up. I gave him a blank look of hatred as a blue dragon formed on my arm. I felt someone support me up. ' _Go, hime.'_

I vanished into blue fire and appeared in front of Aizen, slashing at him. The flames engulfed us both. I was going to defeat him, I knew I could. The blue fire was burning into the enemy's body, turning into a poison, which induced some illusions as hard-core drugs did. It also burned away any illusory kido casted by the enemy. It wasn't much against strong enemies (Kenpachi didn't give two shits about it for example), but it was Aizen's weakness. His natural enemy. We exchanged blows and he hesitated a few times, trying to select among the images his eyes were offering. It was my win. I wasn't more skilled than him, but he wasn't at full potential anyway.

Then, as I saw my victory, my mask erupted on my face. Aizen slashed at me and my zanpakutou blocked on its own. My eyes were wide as the strange feeling engulfed my body. I hissed, trying to pull at my mask. It burned my hand and I retreated it. I had no choice but to suck it up, like Shinji had. Wait, Shinji…

He had fallen to his knees, the Hollowfication getting to him. I looked at him as Aizen launched into his canon speech. My Shikai left me and all I could do was pant as I tried to keep my grips on myself. I was starting to hear the Hollow laughing in my head as it slowly took over my body. "You were all wonderful experiments… Goodbye." Aizen's sword was going to cut me. I could only watch, praying Urahara wouldn't be late.

He didn't disappoint. He appeared out of nowhere and attacked Aizen… cutting his lieutenant's badge in the process. My eyes widened as I stared after the little proof that made our lives lay in balance. 'Yuki was right…'

As the Hollowfication advanced, I couldn't help but scream, blacking out inside my Inner World.

* * *

~~Normal POV~~

"Yoruichi-san, please, this way… I think…" Yuki said. Yoruichi looked around, then shunpoed full speed towards the way she felt Tessai's reiatsu. She was right in front of Aizen as he blocked Tessai's kido spell.

"Aizen… what are you doing here?" she asked.

The future traitor frowned. "Now this was unexpected."

"No need for lies, Aizen-Fukutaicho." a new voice stated, deceivingly calm.

* * *

~~With Chika, earlier, in Unohana's office~~

"Unohana-Taicho, you have to believe me!" she pleaded. "My friend is out there!"

The ex-Kenpachi sighed. "Even if that were the case, what can I change?"

"We need to have a powerful witness. He has Kyoraku-san on his side, having fooled him with his Kyoka Suigetsu!"

Unohana scanned Chika. "How do you know we won't be fooled the same way?"

"Shika's Shikai can cancel all illusions. Her fire burns them away! Please, Taicho, just come with me and see for yourself!"

* * *

~~Present time~~

"No need for lies, Aizen-Fukutaicho." Unohana said, stepping into the light. Chika unsheathed her zanpakutou. "I have heard everything you said to both Hirako-Taicho and Urahara-san. No lie can get you out of this now."

"You…" Chika started, shaking in rage. "What you did to Shika is unforgivable! Heal and Hurt, Tamashi Tomoe!" A green glow surrounded her sword.

Yoruichi immediately took care of Gin and Tousen, leaving Aizen to Unohana, Chika and Yuki.

"It is a great honour to fight by your side, Unohana-Taicho." Yuki said. "Scream, Twin Phoenix!" Her katana divided in two long knives and she was the first to attack Aizen. Unohana was quick to follow. Chika's eyes were teary as she fought. She knew she wouldn't see her friend Shika for a long while.

* * *

~~In the morning~~

Urahara and Tessai were both dragged to their process. Urahara escaped punishment because he had helped the Hollowfied shinigami, Tessai received a few years in prison, but the victims were to be dealt with as hollows. Chika closed her eyes and sobbed. Yuki stepped forward. "That would be unfair. As you must be aware, Urahara-san has researched Hollowfication, but not to the same extent as Aizen had. With more research, reversing the process may be possible, or at least making the victims useful to Sereitei once more." The Central 46 seemed unsure. "Also, they are more powerful now. It is a new type of army, sir."

"They are not safe to be around."

"I can fix that." Urahara interfered. "I have built an underground training facility where they could be kept until they are deemed stable enough."

"It is too risky."

"Maybe, but disposing of them will greatly weaken our army." Urahara countered.

"We need Shika's ability to make sure that Aizen doesn't escape." Yuki added.

"They should all be awake today." Urahara declared. "I doubt they're be stable yet, but within a few years that can be achieved."

"Fine. Urahara Kisuke, it will fall upon you to help the victims of the Hollowfication. Do not disappoint us."

* * *

~~Shika's POV~~

I woke up groggily, seeing the others already up. I scanned them, my eyes stopping on Shinji. Urahara was there too. He smiled. "The Central 46 wants me to help you all with your Hollowfication. You are not to leave this grounds, except for Shika..."

"Why the hell does the bitch get privileges?" Hiyori growled.

"She can sense Aizen's illusions. He's locked up and his execution is today. They want to make sure it's him they're executing."

I looked down. "Can't the others come with me too? I'll feel safer if I'm not alone."

"You're easier to restrain." Urahara pointed out. "I'll be with you anyway. You're all unstable."

Hiyori hit him with her foot, then proceeded to beat the crap out of him. "Who the hell are you calling unstable you fucking idiot?"

"Hiyori, quit it!" Love yelled, wanting to restrain her.

Then it happened. Hiyori's mask broke onto her face as an animalistic growl tore through her throat. I covered my mouth with my hand as the others held her down. Shinji had trouble pinning her down. Lisa and Rose were holding her arms while Kensei held her legs. I unsheathed my sword and broke her mask. She stopped struggling. They released her reluctantly. Urahara eyed me cautiously as Hiyori was panting heavily.

"How did you know how to dismiss her mask?" he asked. Everybody stared at me.

"I…" I shifted uncomfortably under so many gazes. "Lucky guess?"

"What about Chika and Yuki being there last night?" Shinji asked. I couldn't even look at him after what had happened. "You guys knew something. Aizen said so too." I closed my eyes, then looked away, hiding my face from him. "Shika, look at me." I shook my head. He sighed. "Leave us for a few moments. We need to talk." The others shunpoed away. They all knew about everything going on between the two of us, probably. I saw I was only dressed in a shinigami robe. Shinji was missing that exact part of his clothing. His torso was only covered by his haori. I could put two and two together.

"I'm sorry." I chocked out, my eyes filling with tears. I gripped the robes tight. "I know it was the wrong thing to do. I didn't want to hurt anyone, I just thought that I could bargain with him for you…" He tilted my chin upwards, interrupting my words. I avoided meeting his gaze.

"I know. I understand everything, but now we can stop lingering in the past. We got the present, which is dark enough as it is. Don't add to it." He wrapped his arms loosely around me, as if to see whether I'd push him away. I didn't. Instead, I gripped the front if his haori. "Shika, look at me." I hesitantly met his eyes. He smiled reassuringly. I knew he wasn't mad. He understood. I rested my head on his shoulder, encircling my arms around him. "It'll be alright." I nodded, feeling weak and small, insignificant, useless. Shinji pulled back slightly, then, as I was about to ask him what was wrong, pressed his lips against mine. I pulled him closer. That was all I ever wanted to do, all I ever needed. I had dreamt of that first kiss ever since I first saw him. I had imagined it every single night and I would have taken it myself had Aizen not been around. I moaned as he made me part my lips and welcomed his tongue inside my mouth. My hands fisted into his hair. I felt his hands move on my back, testing how much I'd let him touch me. I grabbed his wrist and guided his hand to my ass, feeling him smirk against my lips.

"Guys, we left you to talk, not have sex." Lisa said, popping up behind me. I smiled, too happy to care about her comments. "So will you bother tell us about your prophecy powers?"

My grip around Shinji's neck tightened. "Yeah, I think I should be honest with you guys." Everybody gathered around me. Urahara seemed curious as well. "I come from another dimension where all this was just a manga. Me, Chika and Yuki were big fans. Dunno how we ended up here."

"So you know everything that's going on?" Urahara asked.

"No, last night it all changed. In the manga… ok, let's start with the beginning. The timeset is 100 years from now. The protagonist is a shinigami boy from the World of the Living." I proceeded to tell them everything. When I got to their contribution, I got mixed reactions. Kensei and Hiyori glared at me, Mashiro eyed me with awe, Hachi sighed, Urahara nodded thoughtfully while Rose and Love shrugged it off. Lisa rolled her eyes, unimpressed. "Without the witnesses your friends brought, that would have been our fate." Urahara declared after a while. I nodded. "We were all very lucky."

"What now?" Hiyori asked gruffly.

Urahara looked at me. I groaned. "We need to fight out Inner Hollows and win. I think there is some sort of training before that, but I didn't see it in the manga. I told you, you were going to train the protagonist, but then you chose the instant method." They nodded. I leaned more onto Shinji, turning around to nuzzle his neck. I inhaled his scent, smiling in pleasure. His long soft hair tickled my face. I had ended up in his lap after we all decided to sit down. "Don't cut your hair." I muttered.

"Why the fuck would I do such a thing?" he asked, his hand covering his scalp defensibly.

"Dunno. You did it in the manga. Probably to hide better or something like that."

His grip around my waist tightened. "I'm not forced to hide. I'm here. I'll always be here for you." I blushed and hid my face in his neck, making him chuckle. I liked feeling his throat vibrate and smiled against his skin, then kissed his neck. He rested his chin on top of my head. "Play good." He warned.

"No worries, I don't wanna turn you on before we get in control of our Hollows." I muttered.

"Wise choice." He muttered back, intertwining his fingers in my hair. "Don't want our first time together to be too rough."

I felt dirty at his words, remembering Aizen. I squeezed him closer to me. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "I… Aizen…"

"I kinda got the hint last night." He answered bitterly, rubbing my back. "But I really care about you and I will accept you no matter what. Stop dwelling in the past. You are the only one who has yet to forgive you."

"I guess…"

* * *

Urahara brought me some clothes and I got dressed somewhere secluded from the others. I saw the bra and undies and yelled "Urahara-san, did you pick these clothes?"

"No, I had Chika pack them up for you!" he yelled back. "Why?"

"No reason." I answered. The two intimate clothes were the "sex attire" I had told Chika about once. Clothes I would only wear the night I planned to lose my innocence. I sighed as I put them on. 'Aizen…' I was going to make sure he was executed. I had to.

Shinji smiled reassuringly as I walked next to Urahara. I went to my lover and gave him a quick peck. He smiled into the kiss and gently smacked my ass, sending me on my way. "Go get them. Throw a tomato at Aizen for me."

I chuckled, smiling at him before I spun around and went with Urahara. We went out of the training facility and towards Soukyoku Hill. Many shinigamis kept looking at me, some with curiosity, others with fear or even disgust. I just tried to focus on the air around me, trying to sense any traces of illusions around. Nothing, but Aizen wasn't there yet. I was suddenly pulled back and chocked into a warm embrace.

"Shika! Oh my God, I wasn't even hoping to see you so soon!" Chika yelled, Yuki saying something similar.

I chuckled and smiled as they let me go. "Yeah, well… I got a mission. You know, with the execution and all…" they nodded and scanned Urahara.

"Aizen's not here yet." He said. "Be vigilant when he arrives." He disappeared in the crowd, no doubt still keeping an eye on me. I appreciated that he gave me the privacy I needed.

I glared at Chika. "You…" I hissed. "I saw the clothes you packed me!"

She chuckled. "Hirako-san will appreciate it, I'm sure."

Yuki caught on. "You gave her the sex attire?" Chika nodded and Yuki chuckled. "Did you two fix things at least?"

"Yes, but we're not having sex till our Hollows are tamed, dumbo." I said, poking Chika. "Besides, Aizen took me that night."

Chika sighed. "Yeah, I had a feeling that had happened. But… that means there's no reason to keep those so well-preserved after all." It made sense… "Or you want your first time with your loved one to be special?"

I shrugged, squirming a little. I was still "hurt" and I was in pain while I was walking. Aizen hadn't been easy on me at all. "It hurt." I admitted. "A lot. I can still feel it all the time and even worse when I sit down or walk. I dunno whether the delay is also because of that. I was the one to voice it, not him."

Yuki shrugged. "If he didn't whine it was probably on his mind too. You guys don't know whether your Hollows wouldn't take advantage of that small opening." I nodded. No doubt there.

"You sure you aren't pregnant with Aizen's offspring?" Chika asked. I gasped.

"FUCK NO!" I had to take a pregnancy test soon...

"We'd be able to feel the little one's reiatsu since the first day." Yuki said. Phew. "Besides, with the strain her body had been through, I'd be amazed if the baby had survived, provided she had even been pregnant in the first place. I doubt the hollow would accept the baby anyway." I nodded, looking down as I ran my hand over my stomach.

"Then I can never have a baby?" I asked. I was in no hurry, but it was somewhere on my "to do list", maybe in a hundred years or so. Hopefully on Shinji's too.

"Dunno." Yuki said. "Maybe after you beat your Hollow…"

"Aizen's here." Chika said, her eyes narrowing. I followed her gaze and made my way to the front row. My eyes widened as I felt it. Aizen's eyes were downcast, apparently sad, but I wasn't fooled. "It's not him." I whispered.

"Are you sure?" Urahara asked. I didn't even bother ask when he had got there.

"Yeah." I growled, hearing my Hollow laugh as I gripped my zanpakutou. 'You keep quiet bitch, we'll fix things later.' I didn't take my eyes off the fake Aizen. "Permission to use Shikai." I requested. I knew where I was standing.

"Granted." He hadn't even hesitated.

"Fly, Aoi Hi!" I growled, immediately calling my fire. I felt the Hollow threatening to take over and kneeled, but kept my flames on. They started burning Aizen's form, slowly turning him into… an arrancar. My eyes widened. All the shinigami attacked the poor guy, killing him. ' **But where's Aizen, hime?'** my Hollow asked, laughing. **'He won this round, didn't he?'** I groaned, trying to keep her at bay. **'You can't win. Against him or against me.'**

'I'm gonna kick your ass so hard Aizen will feel it, bitch.'

I glanced at Urahara, who was holding my arm, after having pulled me to my feet. His expression was serious and tense as he scanned me. I dismissed my Shikai and saw a Garganta open, Aizen smirking from up there. Yamamoto attacked him, but the gate closed. He had just been mocking us. My breathing turned into panting as I struggled to control the Hollow inside my mind. I guess my reiatsu was a giveaway of my problem, because soon shinigami started turning towards me. Urahara scoped me up and shunpoed away. Nobody tried to stop him. They all knew.

* * *

Back at the training grounds, I forced the Hollow away and fell into Shinji's arms, exhausted. "What happened?" he asked.

"Aizen… Shikai… Hollow…" I panted.

"Aizen had used a hybrid who took his place in order to escape. Shika had to use her Shikai to clean the illusion, which apparently awakened her Hollow." Urahara summarized.

The others demanded details as I slowly relaxed. Shinji ran his hand through my hair, keeping a detached façade. But I could feel him tense as he gritted his teeth.

"It's not your fault." I muttered.

"He was my Fukutaicho."

"I know. And you always doubted him. But nobody else suspected him at all, so don't blame yourself. You'll get your revenge."

He grunted in response. I kissed his pulse point. "I told you not to…"

"I'm not doing anything." I defended, then sighed. "I really want us to get our Hollows tame soon." I said aloud.

"Oh, we can get started." Urahara said. "I deduced that you are all perfectly capable of defeating your dark inner self."

"How so?" I asked, confused.

"Well, some reiatsu calculations… *insert long explanation nobody understood*, got it?"

"Who's first?" Shinji asked. Who cared about the explanation? We just wanted to get it done.

"Shika." I chocked.

"What, why?" I wasn't ready. I was a nervous mess.

"Well, you're the lowest seated officer here, so easiest to restrain. As you will all slowly control your hollows I'll get more and more help at it." I glanced at Shinji. He would be among the last ones.

"Alright." I said. "Tomorrow."

That night, I went to Shinji as he was sleeping in his sleeping bag. I was a nervous wreck as I gently shook him awake. He stirred and his eyes opened lazily, my reiatsu probably settling him at ease. "Hmm?" he asked.

"Can I…" I started hesitantly. "Can I sleep with you tonight? Just sleep."

He nodded and moved a little, leaving me a little space to squeeze in next to him. The space was too small and we were sure to get too hot, but I relaxed against him. I felt him sneak an arm around my waist. "You're nervous about tomorrow?" he whispered. His voice was deliciously husky, he was half asleep. I liked everything about him: his scent, his voice, his hair, the way his body felt against mine, the way he looked at me, everything. I couldn't lie to him. Not when he was settling me at ease with his mere closeness.

"Yeah. Very."

He pulled me closer, inhaling my scent in a deep sigh. "It'll be alright. You know what to do."

"No, I don't." I retorted. "She's gonna attack me mentally and I'm very weak to that."

"Hmm… how? You're strong, you shouldn't be vulnerable to that." he was slowly sounding more awake, but still ready to return to dreamland. I moved my body closer to his.

"I'm not. I am just a weak slut who couldn't even bargain her body properly."

"Stop berating yourself like that." he said, his grip around me tightening painfully. "You're strong and…" I squirmed and he let go. "Get away from me!"

My eyes widened and I spun around. Shinji's face was close enough for me to see that he was struggling to keep his composure, a hand pressing to his temple. I squirmed, trying to get out of the sleeping bag, but we were tangled. Then he snapped.

My eyes widened as I felt Shinji's reiatsu go full Hollow and an animalistic growl tore through his throat. I gasped as his hand caught my throat and he pinned me down, laughing maniacally as he chocked me. I weakly grabbed his wrist, knowing it was futile. He was much stronger than me. He felt like a stone statue on top of me. My consciousness was slowly fading. My hand was going weak and I knew I would die… a suitable death, to me. I would die at the hands of the one I loved and betrayed. Then he wasn't on top of me anymore.

My head slipped to the side, where Kensei and Rose were struggling to keep a hollowfied Shinji under control. My throat ached and I wiped the spit from my mouth, but still didn't dare move. They finally managed to break his mask and he held his head, panting. He shifted on his legs a little, then fell onto his knees. **'Grr, how dare he touch us? Make him pay! MAKE HIM PAY!'**

Urahara tiredly scanned us, quickly snapping awake as he looked into my eyes. I weakly stood up, trying to fight my Hollow and the two pains in my body. Urahara slowly unsheathed his sword, his "I'm just a humble shopper woken up in the middle of the night" look turning to "business". I didn't even hesitate. "Get me going." I growled, my Hollow side portrayed in my voice.

"Are you sure?" he asked, gripping his sword tight.

"Yes. Do it now." Then he shunpoed in front of me and the last thing I saw was his hand in front of my face.

* * *

"You're finally here? Heh, I thought you were all talk."

These were the first words I heard when I woke up in my Inner World.

"About what? Kicking your ass? We both know it will happen."

"No, you know they all succeeded, but they were trained warriors. You don't know about yourself. Besides, do you think your precious lover would be as strong as he was in the anime? My dear, if you fall, he'll fall too. If you spar with him while he's fighting his hollow and he kills you, he'll also fail. You're his greatest weakness that he didn't have in the anime. Do you even think he'll ever be able to fully accept you? You're Aizen's lover. No matter what, Aizen was your first man." She unsheathed her sword. "His reiatsu is embed in your body. I bet he can sense it every time you're close to him. I bet it makes him doubt you. And we can turn that doubt into a greater weakness than you can imagine."

I growled, lounging at her. We both went into Shikai at the same time. I stared around myself, the dance of colours confusing me momentarily. I hardly avoided getting a lethal wound. I still got a wound, but I could live with it. I parried my enemy's next slash, tilting my sword so it slid past hers and stabbed her. Her eyes widened. "You don't know how I fight? I thought you knew all my weaknesses, bitch." I hissed, not dropping my guard for the briefest of moments. That was my fighting style. No direct slashes, but crossing our swords could mean the best opening for me. It didn't help me much against stronger opponents, or more experienced ones, but my higher-ups agreed that it was indeed effective. My Hollow frowned and shunpoed behind me. I spun around in time to parry another attack. Her fighting style wasn't suitable for Aoi Hi. My sword wanted me to be graceful in battle, but my Hollow was wild, violent, bloodthirsty. I shunpoed away, letting the blue fire do its job. I saw her getting a little confused and entered the fire, popping up behind her for a direct slash. She grinned, thinking she saw opportunity. I vanished and appeared again behind her. She went into her own fire. It was white. We crossed blades many times, neither gaining the upper hand as we couldn't touch each other. It was unnerving. I finally bound her with a kido and cut her head off...

* * *

My body felt numb. I could feel the pressure of the mask on my face, but I knew it would fall off. The remains of my Hollow body were disintegrating around me. Urahara was panting a few feet away. I dropped my zanpakutou, trying to show them that I was fine, that I was me. Exhaustion crept up on me and I fell... against a strong chest. "Hirako-san!" Urahara yelled, still wary of me.

Shinji wrapped his arms around me. "It's alright, Kisuke. I can sense her reiatsu. She's back."

"I won." I muttered, smiling as I felt him run his hand through my hair.

"I toldja you would. How does it feel?"

"Better." My mask fell to the ground as he scoped me up, carrying me bridal style to the others. They all gathered around me and I tried to stay conscious long enough to answer their questions. Shinji had set me down and I was resting with my head on his shoulder, my eyes half-closed.

"Is it difficult?"

"Not if your resolve is strong."

"Do they use cero or something?"

"No, they have exactly your skills, just a different fighting style. Wilder. They also try to attack you mentally, to make you lower your guard."

Urahara came to us. "Anyone want to get going today too?"

"Aren't you all worn out?" Shinji asked.

"I could ask the other Taichos to lend a hand. I'm sure Kenpachi wouldn't say no to some worthy fights." I felt Shinji tense at that.

"I don't wanna fight that bloodthirsty bastard, Hollow or not!" Love hissed. "Or Unohana for that matter!"

"Yare, yare, that's not nice. You should be thankful you can get it over with so quickly." Shunsui's voice echoed through the training room. My eyes widened and I turned towards him. "I came to check up on my dear Lisa-chan."

She frowned, kicking him hard. "You're just looking for excuses to slack off!"

"That's mean, Lisa-chan!" Then he turned towards Urahara. "You said you needed some help, so here I am. Who am I fighting?" The others all stared, not too eager.

"Me." Shinji and Kensei said at the same time. They looked at each other, silently debating.

"Alright then, both." Yoruichi said, smiling. When did she pop up? "Who wants who?"

Shinji shrugged. "I don't really care." I numbly rested my head against his shoulder, my eyes closing. I felt him put me down and kiss my forehead. "I'll be done by the time you wake up, love." I smiled weakly, allowing darkness to consume me.

* * *

Predictably enough, when I woke up, Shinji was the one unconscious. Shunsui and Yoruichi were getting their wounds healed by Tessai, whilst Urahara was talking to the sober Visoreds. Kensei was out too. I ran my hand through Shinji's hair, not really wanting to leave his side. Hiyori glared at me (or looked, you never know with her), but I ignored her. Lisa joined my side.

"Y'know, he told us about you and Aizen." She informed. I gulped, nodding.

"I was only with him to protect you guys. I thought... I thought I could bargain..."

"Yes, I am fully aware of that. Since it was thanks to your friends that we weren't executed, nobody but Hiyori blames you."

"She never liked me anyway."

"You stole her friend and made him your lover. Can you blame her?"

"She hated me before that." Lisa deadpanned.

"You and Shinji were kinda into each other from the first moment you met." I smiled sadly.

"Yeah, and to think how I wasted that... I really am some sort of idiot..."

"Maybe." She wasn't really helping.

* * *

I could remember the first day I had seen Shinji. I was still at the Academy, just another average student, not top of the class, but among the first ten overall. We were being visited by a Taicho and Fukutaicho, but nobody told us which ones. It was them, Aizen and Shinji. They came to our Kido class to teach some illusory spells. The teacher instantly told them about me. Having gotten in contact with my zanpakutou, I was already particularly proficient in that area. I was called to the front. At the time, I was already love struck. I blushed as I walked forward, Chika having tried to make me man up and not make a total fool out of myself. Shinji smiled encouragingly. "Don't be nervous." If only he knew why I was actually blushing... "I'm just gonna teach you a new kido."

I nodded. He taught me that illusion he had dispelled in the Turn Back the Pendulum Arc from Aizen. I smiled. "Taicho, I can tell when such a spell is used, just not how." I informed. He grinned.

"Can you?" I blushed again as he looked straight into my eyes.

"Yes. Aizen Fukutaicho is using one right now." Shinji seemed amused.

"Oh, are you, Aizen?"

"Yes, Hirako-Taicho." It was a pretty basic spell. He had forgotten his Lieutenant's badge at home and replaced it with an illusion. Shinji grinned.

"Well, what do you know? You were actually right." He ruffled my hair. "What's your name?"

"Shika Akima."

"Well, Shika, I really look forward to seeing you in my division."

"I will apply to many Divisions, Taicho. It is really up to you whether you'll accept me there or not." I retorted. His grin widened and I felt something inside me stir.

"We'll see."

* * *

I smiled as he slowly opened his eyes, cancelling my reminiscence. Lisa had left a while before. We were alone. Shinji scanned me. "Good morning." I said.

He rolled his eyes. "Is it really morning?"

"I don't know."

He chuckled and pulled me into a kiss. I smiled against his lips, then slowly moved, straddling his hips. He hummed in pleasure and held my ass, forcing me to slowly grind against him. I moaned, the pressure against my core making me hot. It was a fairly new feeling, which promised pleasure. "Is it alright?" he asked between kisses. "Are we alone?"

"Yeah…" I replied, undoing his belt. He slid his hands under my kimono. I shivered, being reminded of Aizen, but shoved the thoughts to the back of my head. 'Shinji wouldn't hurt me. Shinji wouldn't hurt me.' He pushed the upper clothing off me, his eyes immediately gluing to my bra. I blushed when I saw him grin. "What?"

"You were ready for this, weren't you?" He groaned when I circled my hips around his arousal. Shinji shunpoed, reversing our positions.

My breath caught in my chest, fear gripping my heart. I looked up, trying to keep eye contact for as long as possible. Shinji's long hair was forming a curtain around us. His belt was gone and his upper robes were parted. He frowned. "Shika… are you afraid?" Leave it to me to be an open book to him. I only briefly hesitated before nodding. "We could stop…"

"No!" I yelled. His eyes widened. "I want this!" I added, a little quieter. "I don't want what happened to get in the way."

Shinji sighed. "So stubborn… Alright." He laced our fingers together. "Just tell me if you want to stop."

"I won't need to stop." I replied, then pulled him into another kiss. Shinji slowly moved his hand up my chest, stopping briefly below my bra before he continued. Without breaking from my lips, he touched my boobs, then slipped his hand under my bra, feeling me. I moaned, my hands starting to hesitantly touch his body. Shinji leaned into the touch, moaning lightly. He slowly kissed his way down my throat, smiling against my skin when he made me squirm. It was already different from Aizen's touch. I wasn't going to let him have all the fun, though. I wrapped my legs around his hips and pushed myself up, against the bulge of his pants, revelling in the untamed grunt which slid past his lips. He pressed down against me, trying to return the favour, then his kisses strayed to my chest. I gripped his hair, arching my back. His tongue circled a hardened nub, setting my body on fire. Heat was starting to pool down in my belly, making my clothing more and more frustrating and useless.

Soon enough, I felt Shinji's hands under my pants, gripping my hips. I slid my hands down his body in response and he lifted me up, sliding off my pants. My undies soon followed. I was now completely naked under him. Shinji didn't stop at all. Instead, he kissed his way down my body, making my blush turn to crimson as it slowly downed on me what he was about to do. _'Don't stop him.'_ My zanpakutou ordered. I was really embarrassed by the fact that she was there, aware of what was going on, but I obeyed her. My hands tangled in his hair, fisting as he kissed my neither regions, but I didn't push him away because of my embarrassment, like I really wanted to. He held me down with a hand, the other trailing up to touch one of my breasts. A loud moan escaped my throat. "Shinji… ah…"

He grinned. "Yes?" His tongued circled my most sensitive spot, making my back arch. In the back of my mind, I noticed his husky voice. **'He's getting off just as much as you are. Scream for him!'** I couldn't find a reason not to listen to my hollow.

"More!" I yelled, lifting my hips.

I felt him insert a finger inside me and threw my head back, giving a shout. My hollow chuckled. I didn't even care. Shinji kept pleasuring me, making my mind go empty. Even Aizen was gone. What we were doing then was certainly different. My body suddenly tensed and I let go of Shinji's hair to pull on the blanket below us.

"Come for me, Shika." He said, looking into my eyes. That did it.

I came hard, for the first time in my life. Shinji didn't stop until my orgasm ended, when he pulled himself up and kissed me. I felt a weird foreign taste in his mouth, one which made me aroused again. I pulled him close, wrapping my legs around his hips. He groaned and I felt him grind his hips against mines. His arousal felt really painful. "I want you." I muttered against his lips when we briefly parted for a large gulp of air. My hands drifted down his hard body, to his pants. I made quick work of them, then felt his hands join mine and slide off his underwear.

"I love you." He said huskily, then kissed me before I could answer. The kiss gradually became more and more heated and I felt him slowly slide into me. It was different from my first time. Yes, it still hurt a little, but the pleasure was overriding it. I smiled against his lips, fisting my hand in his hair.

"Shinji…" I whispered when we briefly parted our lips. "Love you too."

He smiled, then slowly started moving. Gently. I would have none of that, though. I wanted a faster rhythm. I met his hips in a thrust, encouraging him to speed up. He seemed to get the hint, because, next thing I knew, he was thrusting hard into me, making me moan louder and louder, until I got close to my second orgasm. I could tell that he felt it too. He slammed into me, hitting my pleasure spot. I grabbed his hair and slammed his lips against mine, screaming into the kiss as I came. Through my hazed bliss, I vaguely felt him empty himself inside me, biting my neck hard.

Shinji rolled off me, grinning lazily as he panted. I returned it, holding his hand.

"Y'know…" he started. "We should really get dressed. Lisa already saw us. I doubt you want more audience..."


End file.
